Cheating Heart

Okay, I totally just found this blog that is unsettlingly addicting. Its about a cheating wife. Okay, I personally have some strong feelings about cheating, and I'm sure other people have their own feelings about it too, but man this woman's blog is just so doggone interesting! I think the insight into her choices and her feelings is just really...I don't know, whats another word for interesting? Soooo, I think this is on my mind a lot anyway because I just found out a longtime friend of mine has been cheating and its crushing my heart to think about her children and husband! I haven't talked to her for awhile now and I just don't know how I could ever be normal with her again (please don't take that the wrong way, like I'm intolerant or something. I know a lot more about her situation than someone else's, had many a conversation with her about how horrible it is<--her words--watched her cry as she talked about her sister cheating, etc. etc.), not that she was a good friend in the first place...which almost makes me want to just chew the crap out of her.

I'm such a good person.

Tra La La

So last Sunday was a fantastic day for me. FAN-TASTIC. I got a new calling at church, not to sound horrible but its a dumb calling. I'm the "assistant" ward music person, whatever that means. So the real ward music person sits down with me Sunday and asks me what my musical expertise is...ummmm, my expertise?! I don't really have any thankyouverymuch. I can read music, I've sang in choirs, how about that? So she says to me, "Well, the only thing I can really hope or expect from you is to put the music into the folders." And I just sit there with my mouth hanging open, dumbfounded.

What I should've done was gone straight to the bishop and said, "Look, this isn't going to work. She doesn't want to let me do anything and she can put the music in the flippin' folders herself."

Yes? No? What do you think?

Don't Ignore Me, Cause I'm Close to the Edge...

I'll be a little better today, not just all whining, I promise. (Is there a big roar of cheering going on right now?) Things are starting to get a little better, granted they are far from perfect and things are still driving me CrAzY but they are better and I have to be grateful for that, and I so am! We've tried to talk about how to make things easier on everyone, and my husband has FINALLY stepped up and started getting supportive, which has been monumental in helping things be better. Hallelujah!
One of the things that still really bothers me though, (about the mother in law) is that she ignores me. Like flat out walks away when I talk to her. Or she'll ask me a "courtesy" question ('how was your day?') and when I start to answer she picks up a magazine and starts reading--totally ignoring me. Yesterday I was calling to my husband from upstairs, and I knew someone was down there that could hear me, because I could hear them, but they would NOT answer me. Not even to say that he was outside or wasn't there. Just ignoring. I get downstairs and lo and behold who could it be that won't answer? You guessed it: the mother in law. I was thinking about why it bothers me so much and I realized it bothers me because in my family, you NEVER ignore someone. Even if you hated them, even if you were so angry with them you wanted to punch them in the face, you don't ignore them when they talk to you. Its just something that we don't do in my family. (Personally I think ignoring someone is pretty commonly rude to anyone in the whole freaking world, but maybe my mother in law doesn't know that...) To me, when she ignores me, I feel like she must hate me so much that I'm not even worth her using up breath. She doesn't care enough to even answer a question, I'm that worthless to her? Now, of course thats probably not what she's thinking (right?! She doesn't think that right?! Tell me she doesn't think that!), but thats how I feel when she does it. So what do I do? Well, normally I just walk away and feel dejected. What I wish I did:

"Hey! Can't you hear me calling?! You know, it's just common courtesy to answer someone! You know he's not here so instead of letting me call and call to him, you could just say 'he's outside!' instead of pretending like I don't even exist. It's really rude and I don't appreciate being ignored!"

Oh yeah, boo ya.

And the Bitterness Begins

So my sister in law and her husband came over to have dinner with us all last night. It was shocking the difference in how my mother in law treats her son in law compared to me. SHOCKING. Every couple minutes she would ask him if he wanted more meat, or more potatoes, did he need this or that. Not once did she ask me anything, she basically just ignores me. I should've been like "gee, isn't that funny how she favors him, and doesn't ask me anything. I'm one of her in laws too..."

Just a little reminder that people notice those things, hmmmm?