I haven't blogged for awhile. Besides the fact that I'm mostly blogging about the person I live with (and am nervous about being caught), I just don't have the heart. A lot of the stuff is just petty. I don't mind petty, in fact I hold on to the petty far too long. But when you're feeling so pushed down and squashed, sometimes blogging about the petty stuff just seems like too much energy. But boy do I have a post for you today! Because it isn't always petty stupid stuff, sometimes it really is astonishing the things that happen here!
This is how last night went down, we had dinner ridiculously early like we do every night (at like 3:30--I know, so stupid) and since I'm having a hard time even with all the petty stuff (it really adds up to something huge, ya know?) I really wanted to get out of there. I could not stand the thought of sitting through another horribly awkward, annoying night after dinner, so I texted my husband across the kitchen and told him "WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!" He's a good man who cares about his wife's sanity, so he obliged. We went to Dairy Queen and got Blizzards and then headed over to my parent's house to pass some time. We got back probably around 7:30 to find "the fan" blowing, and something was about to hit it. (Do you get it? The sh*t was about to hit the fan! Come on, you know you love it.) I walk into the bathroom, and see a note on the mirror. And not just like a sticky note, this note has been typed up, printed out and freaking lamenated. Insanity I tell you, complete insanity I'm living with! The note reads "Whomever gets out of the shower last, MUST wipe the shower down!" Seriously. My mother in law knows that I'm the last person to get out of the shower every day. She told my husband when we first got here that she wants the shower wiped down, which I find ridiculous. Absolutely freaking ridiculous. Its not a glass shower, its tile. Who the h-e-double-hockey-sticks wipes down their tile shower EVERY SINGLE DAY? Well, I gotta be honest, and I know its horrible, but I only do it every COUPLE days. Besides the fact, that I can use the excuse that she has NEVER asked me personally do it. Since she doesn't talk to me. Anyway, the whole point is that the note is completely directed at me, and instead of just saying casually anytime of day (since she's. always. here.) "Hey, Addison, you wipe down the shower don't you?" She has to leave a vindictive little note. My husband is in our room, and I go tell him about it. He is pissed, just done with all the garbage and heads out to the kitchen where his mom is. He basically just says, what is this? Do you think we're little kids? This makes us feel stupid! Why can't you just talk to us? And the "discussion" starts.
Its wonderful. Its wonderfully directed directly at ME. We try and talk about things, whats bothering us, why its so hard for everyone to just talk, that it shouldn't be so hard. And you know how it comes back at us? I want ADDISON to do this, I want ADDISON to do that, ADDISON isn't happy, I've talked to all my daughter's (she has five) about ADDISON and they don't understand why ADDISON is so rude to everyone and won't talk to anyone!! (Are you freaking kidding me?! I could go on and on how this is completely untrue and insane, but I won't go into it, its just too ridiculous to even give explanation.) It doesn't matter what we say, she takes our words and makes a complete different scenerio with them. For example, she says "Okay! (in a really snippity way) This is what will make me happy--if Addison would make dinner more!" and I say "Thats fine, why I haven't made dinner more is because we eat so early, I'm still full from lunch and I'm not even thinking about getting dinner ready yet. Plus its hard when we haven't done a menu or anything--like we talked about before--I don't want to just cook up some meat that you have planned for something else...it makes it hard for me to cook dinner." What my MIL takes from that statement: I hate sit down family dinners. (Yes, she is insane.)
Then she starts talking about cleaning. Ugh. You've got to be kidding me. She makes it out like I don't clean at all (not even mentioning the fact that there are five able bodied adults who should all be cleaning, but she's telling me that she just wants me to clean up after EVERYONE, seems so reasonble right?), when I've been basically following my kids around all day picking up behind them and freaking out if anything's out of place. I'm the only person thats cleaned the bathrooms since we got here until last week when the MIL started cleaning them, and quit halfway and left all the cleaners out and the bathroom a mess. She brought that up. "I even started cleaning the bathroom last week and left it, JUST to see if anyone would finish cleaning it." I gotta be honest with you, I looked her straight in the face and told her that is manipulative. (GO ME!) Also by way of manipulation, she made the statement that "Oh well, if it got the point across it doesn't matter how we got there." To which I said, "NO. You can't just do whatever you want and treat people however just to get your way." (YAY! GO ME AGAIN!) For the most part, even though there was obvious tension and upsetted-ness, she was trying to down play it the whole time ("No one's upset! No need to be offended! Its okay! Blah blah BLAH...) Of course there is so much more, but this would go on and on and I bet you're already bored.
To finish up, she went in the bathroom, ripped the note off the mirror and ripped ANOTHER note from off the dishwasher we hadn't even gotten to see yet, and threw them away. I had to go upstairs to put my kids to bed, in which I had a complete meltdown and started sobbing. I mean, completely broke down sobs. It was very pathetic and you all would have felt very terrible feelings towards my mother in law. Meanwhile as I'm sobbing upstairs, my MIL is ripping me apart downstairs to none other than MY HUSBAND. As in telling him: She just hates me! It doesn't matter what I do, she just hates me!
My husband was really great and really did try to set things straight, but it doesn't work so well when you're dealing with an unbalanced person who can never be wrong and has no idea how to communicate or be a nice person. So when I came back downstairs, she has the nerve--after ripping me apart--to come over and try to hug me and tell me "I know I'm not your favorite person right now, but thats just the way it is." (!!!!!!) To which I replied, "I don't want it to be that way." and walked away.
Together we can feel unified and directed.
1 hour ago